


Delphinium (the pupple one)

by byeolnwi_07



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: All in MV, Delphinium - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, a little bit of hyungwonho, changki, i dont know what else to tag, showhyuk hint?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:08:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29607846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byeolnwi_07/pseuds/byeolnwi_07
Summary: Right.Him, Im Changkyun, is Yoo Kihyun's first love.And is also the love that will never get a response.
Relationships: Im Changkyun | I.M/Yoo Kihyun
Kudos: 24





	Delphinium (the pupple one)

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story in 2018 in my mother tongue (yeah I'm not an English native speaker). And since I've got nothing to do during quarantine, I decided to translate my work into English as a challenge to myself. Feel free to point out any mistake in grammar, tense or the way I use the words, I'll be really appreciate. Finally, I hope you will enjoy this lovely story. <3 Love you all.

The first time Kihyun found out he had Hanahaki was an afternoon in the company's studio. He had just finished his usual vocal training session when he felt his throat a little itchy, feel like something wanted to come out.

"What's this?", Kihyun looked at the purple petals in his hand. Where did these come from, there were no flowers in the room...

"Kihyunie hyung!"

At that moment, the maknae of the group opened the door and rushed in, calling his name.

"What's wrong, Changkyunie?", Kihyun quickly put the petals in his pocket, reached for the coffee cup on the table and drank it quickly.

"Manager hyung just told me that the staff have found the suitable flower for our X Clan concept."

Changkyun excitedly showed Kihyun the flower in his hand.

"Delphinium!"

"Delphinium?", Kihyun muttered at the blue flower in front of him.

'Hyung, I've just learned about this flower. There are many interesting legends, would you like to hear?"

Kihyun looked at the younger boy, didn't have the heart to refuse, he nodded.

"According to Greek mythology, delphinium was a flower that grown from the blood of Ajax, a warrior of Troy. Because of disappointment in distributing the spoils, the hot-tempered Ajax ran out of the field and he vent his anger on a poor flock of sheep. Then, out of shame for his actions, Ajax turned his sword to kill himself. His blood spilled on the ground and then flowers popped up, called Delphinium Ajacis."

"Greek mythology?"

"It's the most famous legend. Also according to Native American legend: delphinium got its name from an angel who landed from heaven. This person used a ladder made from pieces of the sky to be able to climb down from heaven. Unexpectedly, the rays of light emanating from the sun accidentally dried it. Then fragments from the ladder break into delphinium wherever they touch the ground."

"Oh I like this legend better", Kihyun nodded, "Any other legends?

"The last story I found was an old Christian legend. After being crucified, they said, Jesus Christ was moved to a cave and a rock was placed in front of the door. While many doubted that he would return, a small rabbit tried to remind them of Christ's promise. When all ignored him, the rabbit waited in the dark until Christ was risen. The rabbit talked to Christ and was delighted that he has kept his promises. Christ knelt down, showed the rabbit a small delphinium flower, and saved an image of the rabbit's face in the flowers. The face of the rabbit in the delphinium represents trust in Christ and remains a symbol to this day."

Changkyun was still talking passionately without noticing the older's expression.

"I'm going to find Jooheonie hyung, I have to tell him!"

After Changkyun left, Kihyun immediately ran to the bathroom and locked the door. He coughed continuously until his throat started hurting and the sink was full of petals. Kihyun bitterly looked at his own reflection in the mirror and wearily slid down the wall behind him.

Hanahaki.

Damn it.

The ratio was one in a hundred million people and he was that unlucky person.

From the moment that the younger boy entered the room, approached him with that expression, his chest began to feel terribly uncomfortable and then when he showed Kihyun that blue flower, he knew he had this painful disease. And the person standing in front of him was the one who causes this pain.

Still the same shape, the only difference was that the delphinium in Changkyun's hand was blue, and the flower he coughed up was purple.

And God seemed to want him in pain even more, because before the maknae left, the boy turned around to tell him.

"Although they will use the blue delphinium, I personally prefer the purple one. Kihyunie hyung, do you know? The purple delphinium represents first love."

Right.

Him, Im Changkyun, is Yoo Kihyun's first love.

And is also the love that will never get a response.

.

.

.

"Kihyun!"

Minhyuk panicked as he set foot in the bedroom.

"Don't yell ...", Kihyun said in the middle of coughing, "close ... the door ... or else everyone will hear ..."

Minhyuk quickly locked the door and ran to Kihyun, he quickly stroked Kihyun's back to make the main vocal feel more comfortable even though he was still confused by what he just saw.

"Hanahaki?"

Minhyuk looked at the petals scattered on the floor, asked.

"So you know too?"

"I come across it on the internet."

Kihyun hummed and didn't say anything. A moment later Minhyuk asked, breaking the silence.

"Who is it?"

"It doesn't matter anymore."

"Why not? If unilateral love is not reciprocated then ..."

"I know, Minhyuk", Kihyun interrupted his friend, "but he doesn't have feelings for me."

"Changkyun?", After a moment of hesitation Minhyuk also spoke up the name that came to his mind.

"Is it that obvious?", Kihyun laughed shamefully.

"The way you look at the maknae, doesn't like any of the other members, it's not hyung's caring or favorite look for dongsaeng. The way you look at that kid ... filled with love. Like the way Hyungwon look at Hoseok hyung."

"Don't tell anyone, especially Changkyun", Kihyun took his hand, "Minhyuk, please."

"How can you be sure that he doesn't have feelings for you?"

"It can't be."

"So you will accept the surgery, right?"

Kihyun didn't answer which made Minhyuk lose his temper and raised his voice.

"You're crazy, Yoo Kihyun!"

"Be quiet Minhyuk, there are other members in the dorm."

And as if to reinforce Kihyun's words, outside came a knock on the door.

"What's the matter Minhyuk? I heard your scream", it was Hyunwoo.

"Nothing, Kihyun and I are watching trailers of some horror movies."

"Okay, Hoseok and I are heading to the gym."

"Bye, hyung!"

Minhyuk said goodbye to Hyunwoo and then after making sure the two of them were gone, they returned to the main issue.

"You will be in pain without surgery", Minhyuk's face turned pale, "and worse, you will die Kihyun, when those devilish petals fill your chest, you won't be able to breathe."

"But I don't want to forget this love", Kihyun put his hand on his chest, "I love him... so much..."

"So you are willing to suffer just for this sentiment, even if the price is your live?"

His words made Kihyun waver a bit, Minhyuk knew Kihyun was about to give up.

"Surgery, Kihyun. Can you hear me for once?"

"Alright", Kihyun surrendered, "until I can't stand it anymore, I'll accept the surgery."

.

.

.

It was the filming day of their MV for this album's title song, All In, a hip hop song about a passionate love.

Kihyun looked over to the other side of the set where Changkyun was playing happily with Jooheon.

It's just a normal thing. Kihyun told himself in order to reduce the discomfort in the chest, but it didn't work.

"Finish this scene and we are done, everyone."

"Yeah!!!", the group quickly responded to the director's words, no matter how excited they were, everyone started to be exhausted due to the fact that they had been filming since morning and the sky was getting dark now.

Music started to played.

They are sitting in a circle, flowers everywhere in the room. Above the table were bottles filled with blue water, a pot was being boiled, and they were sprinkling delphinium in it. They gradually immersed themselves in the melodies, Kihyun helped Changkyun draw scribble line of color on his face. And then for a few unconscious moments, Kihyun realized his forehead and Changkyun's were touching, face to face, so close that he could feel the younger's heavy breath.

"Cut!"

The director said and Kihyun took it as a sign to quickly got up and ran away leaving someone bewildered.

Kihyun was struggling in the bathrooom when he heard the door opening, which made his heart stop beating for a second, realizing he had forgotten to lock the door. Fortunately, the one who entered was Minhyuk, maybe he ran after as soon as he saw Kihyun left.

"So careless Kihyun, have to lock ...", Minhyuk was about to raise his voice to grumble when the scene before his eyes made him dumbfounded.

The main vocalist of the group was there, kneeling in front of the toilet, vomiting red slimy liquid (which was obviously his blood) mixed with purple petals, a stinging but cold color. After making sure that there was nothing in the back of his throat, Kihyun got up, went to the sink and splashed some cold water to gain consciousness.

"This is bad Kihyun. Don't delay the surgery any longer", Minhyuk worried, the petals grew more and more and cut into Kihyun's throat till bleed, not to mention it had a bad effect on his voice.

"Go out Minhyuk, I want to be alone. Tell everyone I'll come right away", Kihyun put his hand on his chest, tiredly said.

Minhyuk was about to say more, but then stopped, silently went out.

Suddenly Kihyun wanted to cry.

He had dreamed of a beautiful love with him. The two of them walking along the streets together, cooking together, practicing together, creating beautiful memories together.

Not like this. Pain and fatigue.

Perhaps it is time to let go.

.

.

.

"Let's eat first and then go back to the dorm," said manager hyung from the driver's position.

"Bulgogi!"

"Agree, let's eat bulgogi, hyung", Minhyuk and Jooheon started singing the song about bulgogi composed by themselves.

"The restaurant that near our dorm, hyung", Hoseok said.

"Drop me at off at the dorm, hyung."

"Why don't you go with us? You haven't eaten anything since breakfast", Hyunwoo concerned.

"I'm a bit tired, I want to go back to rest", Kihyun slightly coughed and leaned against the car window, pretending to sleep so Hyunwoo didn't ask any more questions.

Maybe Kihyun didn't notice, but from the moment he came back and got in their van, there was someone who didn't take his eyes off him.

Changkyun was very worried when Kihyun suddenly ran away after the filming ended, his face turned pale. And now he skipped meals?

While Changkyun was busy looking at the person sitting in the front row, Hyungwon's voice pulled him back to reality.

"Eh? Who brought flowers into the van?"

Hyungwon muttered while picking up the petals on his seat.

And even though it was dark outside, the light of street lights and signs was bright enough for Changkyun to recognize them as purple delphinium petals.

Could it be ...

.

.

.

It was so late that there were only them left in the restaurant.

"I'm full. Can I drop by my studio? I need to get something done", Changkyun said after eating a few pieces, then let go of his chopsticks and hurriedly ran out as soon as their manager nodded.

"The kid barely eat anything. Is he going to lock himself in the studio again?", Jooheon stood up to follow but was stopped by Minhyuk.

"Eat, Jooheonie, Changkyunie can take care of himself."

"But ...", Jooheon was about to argue more but was scared by Minhyuk's expression.

"What's the matter Minhyuk?", asked the leader of the group. Actually, Hyunwoo have been noticing for while, "You and Kihyun have been acting strange lately."

Minhyuk's whole body started to tremble, he held his face down to hide his tears but soft whimper came out from his mouth denounced that he was crying which surprised the rest of the members.

"What should I do Hyunwoo hyung?", Minhyuk said between his sobs, "I don't want to see Kihyun ruining himself."

After saying that, Minhyuk reached into his jacket pocket and took out a handful of petals on the table.

"Why were you picking up the petals at the filming site. If you like, you can ask for some branches to take home", Hoseok said innocently.

"It's not the same, Hoseokie hyung, the delphinium we use is blue, not purple", Hyungwon now realized what he had failed to notice earlier.

"I don't understand", Jooheon still out of clue.

"Hanahaki?", Hyunwoo asked, "I read about it but don't think it really exists."

"It does exists, and Kihyun is slowly dying because of it."

"The person Kihyun like is Changkyun?", Hyungwon exclaimed in surprise, since he only thought Kihyun cared about the maknae of the group according to what they called mother-instinct.

"But if both of them have feelings for each other, how can it be called unilateral love?"

"What are you saying, Jooheon?", Minhyuk looked at him suspiciously, "Isn't you and Changkyunie ..."

"Not at all!", Jooheon hastily defended, "Changkyun is just the little brother I adore, we are completely innocent."

"Since you two stick together all the time, even I think so too," Hoseok said.

"Because only me know about Changkyun's crush, that kid keep asking me some random questions like _why is Kihyunie hyung so pretty today?_ , _why didn't Kihyunie hyung talk to me today_? or _why does Kihyunie hyung look so tired?_ "

"So Kihyun's disease can be cured", Minhyuk concluded happily, "I have to tell him."

"Calm down, Minhyuk", Hyunwoo, who has been quietly listening for a while, said, "Kihyun should be asleep by now, let him rest and you can tell him tomorrow."

.

.

.

After exiting the restaurant, Changkyun went toward the group's dorm instead of going to the studio as said.

"Kihyunie hyung?", the boy gently opened the bedroom door and looked inside, after making sure the older was asleep, Changkyun entered.

He sat on the edge of the bed, watching Kihyun tired sleeping face.

"I have always wondered why did you avoid me and acted so strange lately. You no longer asked me to help you in the kitchen, nor let me go to the market with you. Hyung just stood and looked at me from afar, then quietly sighed", Changkyun said softly so as not to wake Kihyun up, "but I finally understand why. You must have been suffering a lot. I'm sorry for not telling you my feelings earlier. I'll tell you everything tomorrow morning, okay?"

Before returning to his bed, Changkyun did not forget to adjust the blanket for him and clean up the blood-stained petals around.

.

.

.

"Minhyuk hyung!"

Minhyuk felt his body being shaken strongly, waking him up.

"What is it Changkyun?", He squinted at the person who had just disrupted his sleep, "we don't have schedule this morning, let me sleep."

"Hyung, I can't find Kihyun hyung anywhere."

"Maybe he goes to the supermarket or goes to the gym."

"No hyung, I got up at 6 and I didn't see him, it's almost 8 o'clock now, and his phone can't be contacted."

"Wait", Minhyuk suddenly sit up, "what date is it today?"

Not waiting for Changkyun to answer, Minhyuk ran to Kihyun's locker and took out a piece of paper from the hospital.

"Damn!", Minhyuk shouted, "Today is the day when Kihyun makes an appointment with the hospital for surgery..."

Changkyun immediately grabbed the paper from Minhyuk's hand and ran to the door. Minhyuk was about to run after when strong arms grapped around his waist from behind.

"Changkyun can handle it. Go back to sleep, you must have been exhausted from worrying too much for Kihyun," Hyunwoo said softly.

.

.

.

That morning, Kihyun got up early, while everyone were still asleep. He sneaked out of the dorm and took a taxi to the hospital. Before he left, he went next to Changkyun's bed and stood there for a long time, looking at the sleeping boy.

Kihyun is currently lying in the waiting room, because the doctor told him to do some more tests to ensure safety.

"Kihyunie hyung!"

Kihyun was resting when suddenly someone pushed the door open.

"Changkyun! Why are you here?"

"To stop you from doing something that we will both regret for the rest of our life," Changkyun gasped, trying to stabilize his breath, he had just got out of the taxi and rushed into the hospital to find Kihyun. Unfortunately, the elevator broke down, causing him to run up five floors.

"You ... know why I am here?", Kihyun was a bit surprised, it didn't matter anymore that Changkyun knew, because just a few more hours Kihyun will forget about this painful love ... and then Changkyun will be happy with the one he loves, "why would you come here if you knew already? Don't worry, soon we will turn back to where we supposed to be."

Changkyun is really angry at the person in front of him, how could Kihyun endure for so long? How did Kihyun feel when he said those words? And how did Kihyun feel when he saw Changkyun with Jooheon?

"I don't want to go back to the way we used to be!", Changkyun loudly confirmed which made Kihyun shiver, _why is he angry?_

"Changkyun ..."

"Yoo Kihyun, please listen carefully", the maknae held his shoulders, their faces only a few centimeters away, "This Im Changkyun has only one silhouette in his heart. That person is an idiot, he thought I didn't like him and decided to suffer alone, today that person ran to the hospital early in the morning to forget his love for me!"

"Hey, I'm older than you anyway, how dare you to say that I'm stupid", Kihyun tried to keep his composure but his eyes were soon filled with tears and when he blinked, tears slowly rolled down his cheeks.

"Because you're really really stupid", Changkyun leaned down to kiss the tears on his cheeks, very gently, "... and I love you, my idiot"

Kihyun hiccuped in tears, frantically hugging Changkyun tightly as if afraid this was just a dream.

"Changkyun ... what did you just say ... can you say it again ..."

Changkyun quickly interrupted the older by pressing his lips against Kihyun's, a soft yet loving kiss.

.

.

.

As the rest of the members were waiting impatiently outside the living room, the two entered, hand in hand.

"I'm sorry for making everyone worry", Kihyun bowed in apology.

"Yoo Kihyun! Do you still consider me as your friend!? How dare you to leave without saying a word!!!", Minhyuk rushed to hug Kihyun, raising his voice reprimanded.

"Is everything alright now?", Hoseok walked close to him.

"Yes, it's alright now", Changkyun happily watched Kihyun trying to sooth Minhyuk's anger with Jooheon's help.

"I hope you guys will together for a long time."

"Of course, hyung."

"If you make Kihyun sad again, I'll make you suffer", Hyungwon appeared from nowhere, leaving a threatening sentence and pulling the hem of Hoseok's shirt, "Go back to sleep with me Hoseokie."

Changkyun watched Hoseok cheerfully hold Hyungwon's hand and went to the bedroom without feeling sarcasm.

"Don't imitate Hoseok", Hyunwoo said after the other two left, "Hyungwon is spoiled by him."

 _It's okay if Kihyun is spoiled_ , Changkyun thought, _he's still Changkyun's love_ , then he walked over to the mentioned person.

"Let's go eat chicken tonight, Kihyunie, you can eat as many as you want."

"Really?!", Kihyun's eyes lit up when he heard about chicken, happily holding Changkyun's hand, shaking, "then let's go to the newly opened shop down the street."

"As you wish", Changkyun smiled gently, then pulled Kihyun closer to give him a peck on his lips.

"Hey hey, there are still people here!!!"

"Kihyunie is my lover, I can do whatever I want to, you can't stop me, Minhyukie hyung~"

Hyunwoo was speechless.

  
Minhyuk and Jooheon were loudly complained.

  
Kihyun blushed.

  
Changkyun was beyond happy.

  
In other room, Hyungwon still slept soundly in Hoseok's embrace.

_"Kihyunie, please never forget..."_

_"Hmm???"_

_"I love you."_


End file.
